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Chapter Eight

The Wedding Day

This booklet is about marriage preparation - preparing people for a lifetime together. But it would not be complete without a reminder of the importance of preparing for the wedding day itself. The most wonderful scheme of marriage preparation could be negated if a couple felt that their wedding service was not taken seriously. Indeed, when a couple initially book a wedding, probably the only thing they consciously ask of the church is that it provides a wedding service to remember. To achieve this requires considerable effort. First impressions count. The way the telephone is answered may be the first stage in creating a fruitful relationship with the couple. Each denomination has its own questions here. It would be impossible in this booklet to spell them out in detail. In general terms, it is vital that every couple has ample opportunity to say what it is they would like, even if all is not possible and some adjustments or compromises have to be made. It is important that the couple is made aware of all the choices - especially if two churches or faiths are involved. (They may not like to ask much unless prompted to do so.)

The wedding service needs to feel 'personal'. Therefore it is essential that whoever is conducting the wedding service gets to know the couple well enough to make the service 'theirs'. This may require careful timetabling if others are conducting the marriage preparation.

When the day comes the person conducting the service may have four weddings. It is important to enable each couple to feel that this is their one and only wedding. Their wedding may be one of the few contacts that they and their guests have with the Christian church.

Many non-churchgoing couples are very nervous when meeting clergy. A leaflet about planning for the wedding day could be immensely helpful. It could include notes on:

  • Legal requirements
  • Denominational rules/requirements
  • Possible order of service
  • Choice of hymns, music and readings
  • How to contact the organist
  • Flowers, bells, red carpets, extras
  • Printing order of service
  • Rules re photography, recording, confetti
  • Copyright issues
  • Fees
  • Marriage preparation scheme
  • Service rehearsal
  • Who to contact about what

© Churches Together for Families, 2001-2002

 

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